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Children learn very early that what they eat is important to
their parents, and they often use this knowledge to their advantage.
Parents may sit for hours at the dinner table with their children
until they finish their last asparagus spear. Food can be used
as a reward, a way to exert control, or a way to rebel. Rewarding
kids for good grades or good behavior with sweets can set up
internal conflicts about food. This is especially true if the
rewards are in opposition to current goals for health or body
image. If not dealt with early, these “food
fights” may extend into adult life as well.
Finding a way to sidestep
the “food fight” is a priority. If a child
is having trouble sticking to healthful foods, the following strategies may
be helpful.
- Stock the kitchen with healthy foods. Having
plenty of fruits, vegetables, grains, and beans on hand and keeping
unhealthful foods out of the house are simple ways to eliminate
conflict over which type of food to prepare or eat.
- Focus on
food as a fuel for health. Choosing a simple, health-giving
way of eating like the one suggested in these pages and explaining
to children why it is important to eat this way will help them
to appreciate and choose healthful foods.
- Reduce the emphasis on food in daily life. When people solve problems by eating or congratulate themselves with
food, the importance of food has gotten out of control. Finding other
solutions to problems, such as talking about them, writing about them
in a journal, or taking a walk or a bike ride to figure out possible
steps to take, are much healthier and more productive. Families should
become accustomed to using non-food treats as rewards, such as a warm
conversation, reading, going to a movie or the park, making something,
calling Grandma or a friend, or engaging in physical activities.
- Set
clear divisions of responsibility. If a “food fight” develops,
parents should define responsibilities around foods. The parent is
responsible for providing appropriate food choices. The child
is responsible for choosing what to eat among the choices offered.
- Allow for healthy treats. Fresh-fruit smoothies, a colorful
cup of berries in season, or a vegetable dish prepared a favorite
way can all be special treats and prevent a family from feeling
deprived.
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